Ignorance is bliss

…winter sucks when it extends into the end of April. It is April 25th and there is still so much stupid snow on the ground. Oh, I know it will melt. Spring will come eventually, and fly by before you know it, we’ll have two weeks of hot weather, then it will snow again. pffffffffffthhssssssss!!!!!!1…

…I thought clicky cliques would end in high school, sadly it doesn’t; it just prepares you for the nastiness on the school tarmac while waiting for your kids to be let out of school…

…I can no longer watch or read the news. It is all bad. Food prices rising, gas prices rising, shortages, endless wars, bad politics, food riots, poverty, homelessness, all amidst dripping riches and excess amoung the few…

…in retrospect, I was not a very good sahm. I was bored, lonely and depressed and spent my days doing fuck all. I am now less bored, still sometimes lonely and occasionally depressed, my house is somewhat messier (’cause I am not very good at keeping it clean, never was) but it somehow seems better…

…but because I am now a “working mom” I don’t get invited to the sahm parties ’cause those sneetches have stars upon thars…

…suck it, snow!

Wow. It’s been awhile. Though, like a good friend this blog is here waiting, not judging, no recriminations about how I don’t call anymore, no guilt. I guess I could be like foo and pretend solidarity with the screenwriters, however, in truth, I was just too lazy to post. I’ve been busy. My days aren’t idle anymore as I have a real job now. I no longer have the time to waste sitting in front of my computer, writing blog posts, surfing other blogs, living vicariously through other people’s lives on the interweb. These things I did to fill the vast gaps of time between 9 and 3:30 when my life seized to have meaning. I did these things to avoid the build up of household chores that sat for weeks on end, waiting to be done. These things I did to fill the hollow echos ringing through my head.

Now, the household chores still sit for weeks on end, my time is taken with work, dinner preparations, lunch preparations, homework, consoling children petting the dog, playing mario galaxy and / or lego star wars and there just isn’t time for belly button gazing on a blog. I have found as I am busier, there is less to complain about, so there is less to blog about. No one wants to read about how happy you are; they want to share in your misery — well, not necessarily share in your misery. I think it is more like, compare your misery with the writer’s misery and think, “well, I certainly don’t have it as bad as that poor sap.”

cheers!

I should have listened to my first post. *blush* My dog can tragerse any terraine, what can your dog do?

Taz, you stupid fucking dog.. you lay on my couch, you take up all room, syou get dog hair all over, you whine at your food dish, you perform feats and tricks you want a million pet you want someone t scratch behind your hears all night long, you steal seats, you chew paiiiiiiiiint brushes, you destroy every toy brought to you, you are a rotten no good smelly dog and you are a thorn in m side.

But,lyou are affectionate and kknd and gentle na will tragerse any terraine

The previous post was written in September. This is November. What a difference a few weeks make. I don’ t feel like THAT anymore. Eden’s party was fine. The girls had fun and though I can’t at the moment remember the cake, I’m sure it was delicious. The girls giggled all night and gotup early and, I’m sure drove parents crazy later the next day, all worth it.

Some things have changed for me. I discovered, in the few weeks that I was at home, bored, while the kids were in school that I was not very happy. Depressed I called it. Unsatisified, and BORED. There simply had to be something more than making sure my kitchen floor was mopped. I did nothing during the day, and I’d find a million excuses not to do anything. Then I got a job.
A real job. I work when the kids are in school, I make good money and I now have a good excuse as to why the toilets aren’t so clean that you can eat off them. I have realized that the reason behind my unhappiness for the last, oh say…4 1/2 years is that I was not very happy being at home. Actually…that’s not true. I liked being at home with the kids when the needed me, but they are older now and need me less. Of course, I need to be here to ensure that eyes don’t get poked out or someone does’t set the other on fire, but I’m really not NEEDED needed. I was really unsatisfied being at home when both are in school full time. In the grand scheme in my head, this year was the year that I got my shit together and got myself a career/ job. And, lo, what fell into my lap but just that. I was sad that my grand scheme wasn’t happening, but now it is. All is well, so far.

Something else on my mind. I would think that at the late 30’s early 40’s age we girls would stop bullying each other and realize the politics of exclusion only hurts your children who you are trying to teach right from wrong. I’m a little pissed off that some people have not yet learned the lesson the rest of us learned in grade school.